IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

(The plans show the ground floor of the library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.)

The pictures constitute data about improvements of the ground floor of the library between 2001 and 2009 .
Overall
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,
while
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 the two left corners were replaced in many rooms, new gadgets were added. In 2001, once tables were set in place in the centre of the area , next to them were newspapers and periodicals located. In 2009, tables remained;
likewise
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, they were increased in number. Newsagents replaced by films and DVDs. On the left side of the corner were self-help and history sections; they changed to different types , including history, fiction, self-help, kitchen, economics , and
lastly
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 is law. The entrance was situated at the bottom of the building, opposite the part for access was the librarian’s desk. The next side to the right was the stairs. Altogether, three sides remain unchanged.
In addition
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, The top part was a fictional area in 2001,
then
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 it changed to children’s books, and on the lower side there was children’s area was constructed to read books.

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task achievement
Make sure to add a clear introduction that summarizes the main changes.
coherence and cohesion
Try to group similar ideas together for a better flow in your writing.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points about the changes.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between sentences and sections for better clarity.
task achievement
You have provided an overview of the changes between the two years, which is good.
task achievement
The essay includes some details about specific sections and their changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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