IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree?

Clean
water
Use synonyms
 matters for our lives.
Although
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper access to it is a fundamental human right, clean
water
Use synonyms
 should not be free of charge because it can bring benefits in saving
water
Use synonyms
 and improving
water
Use synonyms
 supply
techniques
Use synonyms
. People are expected to save
water
Use synonyms
 when
water
Use synonyms
takes
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prices
.
Verb problem
rise.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 is based on the common sense of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
: we tend to cherish things with
prices
Fix the agreement mistake
price
show examples
. When clean
water
Use synonyms
 is free of charge, children will not understand the importance of “saving
water
Use synonyms
”; adults will lose their sense
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 they have used, or even wasted.
Although
Linking Words
 ideally “saving
water
Use synonyms
” is a basic principle that everyone should follow, the reality is that money people always perceive the value of
water
Use synonyms
 through their
water
Use synonyms
 bills.
That is
Linking Words
 the reason why none of
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
 in the world
does not
Verb problem
has
show examples
 make “free
water
Use synonyms
” policy, regardless of the level of their social wealth. From a perspective of public
, pricing
Check wording
perspective, pricing
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is the most direct and effective way to preserve
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marketing
running
Check wording
apply
show examples
of
water
Use synonyms
 supply can improve
water
Use synonyms
 supply
techniques
Use synonyms
, which helps in many aspects,
such
Linking Words
 as improving
water
Use synonyms
 quality and advancing
Use synonyms
water saving
Use the right word
water-saving
show examples
techniques
Use synonyms
.
In deed
Use the right word
Indeed
show examples
, the money earned by
water
Use synonyms
 supply
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in many countries is transferred to the fund, which has contributed a lot
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 upgrading
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
 industry.
For instance
Linking Words
, in China, 70% of financial revenue from
water
Use synonyms
 supply is going to be used
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 and development of
water
Use synonyms
 supply
techniques
Use synonyms
, making the
water
Use synonyms
 supplied in China
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
clean
Replace the word
cleaner
show examples
 and be used in a more efficient way. The
appear
Replace the word
appearance
show examples
 of these advanced
techniques
Use synonyms
 is only possible and sustainable with a marketing method for
water
Use synonyms
 supply. In conclusion,
despite
Change preposition
although
show examples
 everyone has their right to access clean
water
Use synonyms
, I strongly feel that
water
Use synonyms
 should be priced. With a definite marketing mechanism, more amount of
water
Use synonyms
 can be saved by people, and more
environmental
Replace the word
environmentally
show examples
 friendly
techniques
Use synonyms
 can be
come out
Verb problem
developed
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea or opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position right away.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or data to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words (first, next, finally) to make your ideas flow better. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Check your sentences for clear meaning. Some sentences are long or tricky and can be confusing.
task achievement
You clearly acknowledged the importance of clean water as a human right, which is a strong point in your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You presented good ideas about how pricing can lead to better water use and techniques, showing critical thinking.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: