IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagram bellow shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable

the diagram bellow shows how salt is removed from sea water to make it drinkable
The current picture illustrates the process of removing the salt from
seawater
Use synonyms
 and making it safe for consumption.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the process contains five distinct stages, starting with
seawater
Use synonyms
 intake and ending with the distribution of purified
water
Use synonyms
 to an integrated
water
Use synonyms
 supply system.
At the first stage
Linking Words
, the salty
water
Use synonyms
 is drawn from the
sea
Use synonyms
 and directed into a pre-treatment filter, which removes larger impurities.
This
Linking Words
 stage
also
Linking Words
 includes a filter backwash system, with
waste
Use the right word
wastewater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 returned to the
sea
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
seawater
Use synonyms
 is pumped through a membrane under
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high pressure.
This
Linking Words
 membrane only allows the small
water
Use synonyms
 molecules to pass through, effectively separating salt and other impurities from the
seawater
Use synonyms
, which are ejected back into the
sea
Use synonyms
 as concentrated
Use synonyms
sea
Use the right word
seawater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. At the fourth stage, the desalted
water
Use synonyms
 undergoes
post-treatment
Correct article usage
a post-treatment
show examples
 phase, where lime, chlorine and fluoride are added to it for the final purification.
Finally
Linking Words
, the treated
water
Use synonyms
 is stored and added to the integrated
water
Use synonyms
 supply for human consumption.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words seawater, water, sea with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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