''Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this? How can this problem be overcome?

The world is very different today. It is important to balance
work
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and
life
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. People face challenges with balancing their
work
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with their personal lives.
This
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essay will examine what are the reasons for
this
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, and how
this
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problem can be overcome. On the one hand, there are several reasons for people who find difficulty in balancing their
work
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with other aspects of their lives. First of all, they may have poor management.
For example
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, they do not set clear goals.
Also
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, they do not manage their daytime effectively.
Secondly
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, they may
work
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in a hard occupation. To illustrate, they will be forced to
work
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all day.
Moreover
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. They will lose their attention in
life
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, and even themselves care.
Finally
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, they may get a little money.
For instance
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, they will have to
work
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in many places to get enough money
,
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;
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therefore
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therefore,
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they will not be able to take care of other parts of
life
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.
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions for people to
this
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problem.
Firstly
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, they need to manage their
life
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,
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.
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For example
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, they have to complete their daily tasks as soon as they can.
In addition
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, they must not delay themselves in their occupation.
Secondly
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, they should draw a clear line between their
work
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and their personal
life
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.
Finally
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, they have to get a nice salary in order to have time for other
life
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aspects.
Furthermore
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, they need to
work
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in a place they love and avoid stress. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are several reasons for
this
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problem.
However
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,
this
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can be solved in many ways.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support that idea.
cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better. Words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' can help.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples for your points to better support your arguments.
structure
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
You identified main reasons and solutions which shows you understood the question well.
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