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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the numbers of male and female research students studying six science-related subjects at a UK university in 2009. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the research
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
on students
show examples
 studying six
science related
Use the right word
science-related
show examples
 subjects at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 UK university in 2009, and
comparison
Correct article usage
a comparison
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 from female and male.
Overall
Linking Words
, the boys
studying
Verb problem
are studying
show examples
 biology and physics more,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
girls
Correct article usage
the girls
show examples
selecting
Verb problem
are selecting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biology and
medicine
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, male
students
Use synonyms
 is more than a
girls
Use synonyms
pupils
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
show examples
 veterinary
medicine
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more ladies compared to
mens
Correct your spelling
men
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, physics has
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 difference in male and female
students
Use synonyms
, with around 225 males against just below 50
girls
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine
Use synonyms
 has nearly similar
pupils
Use synonyms
 in both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, astronomy and geology
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 similar male 150 candidates and around
similar
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
70
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
pupils
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, biology has
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
overall
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 with around 230 gents and 200
girls
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
veterinary
Correct article usage
the veterinary
show examples
medicine
Use synonyms
 subject has more females than
mens
Correct your spelling
males
 with more than 100 ladies
pupils
Use synonyms
 and about 90 gents candidates.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
astromony
Correct your spelling
astronomy
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 total
students
Use synonyms
 compared to other subjects in 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, girls, medicine, pupils with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • number
  • male
  • female
  • research
  • students
  • subjects
  • total
  • overall
  • significantly
  • higher
  • compared
  • indicating
  • gap
  • exception
  • balanced
  • representation
  • preference
  • attract
  • disciplines
  • data
  • suggests
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