IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's
globalized
Use the right word
globalised
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 world, some have argued that free community service ought to be a mandatory section of the high school curriculum. From my personal perspective,
this
Linking Words
 proposal seems strongly rational as it can both promote the different abilities of students and help the government's development. Originally, participation in mandatory programs builds a solid foundation for future academic and professional success, paving the way for dealing with various challenges conveniently in future life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students who have spent mandatory programs are more skilled in critical thinking and quick decision-making. As an example, research conducted by the University of Cambridge found that
children
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 who had grown
in
Change preposition
up in
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 high schools with a mandatory curriculum were better able to solve difficulties in their lives in comparison with
children
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 who did not take part in
this
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 approach.
Thus
Linking Words
, schools' planning is one of the key factors in
children
Use synonyms
's growth.
In addition
Linking Words
, compulsory exposure to community service associates society's progress, the effect of which is to lend a helping hand to
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
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 in need by the governments through established free clubs and charities. To be more precise, it is the best way to boost the level of civic services without paying any wages.
For instance
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,
according to
Linking Words
 statistics of the UK indicated the quality of services is boosted before than planned the schools' necessary programs.
As a result
Linking Words
, any essential activity in school plays a crucial role in society's level.
To sum up
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, compulsory curricula not only can improve
children
Use synonyms
's progress, but
also
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 can lead the society to efficient services with less expense. I believe
this
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 direction has many important effects on people's lives, especially in
children
Use synonyms
's growth and the quality of life.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it well in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Add more examples to support your points, and make sure they are directly related to your argument.
Task Achievement
The essay discusses the benefits of community service effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is easy to follow, with clear paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • neighborhood improvement
  • teaching sports
  • empathy
  • social justice
  • transferable skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • civic duty
  • civic engagement
  • educational enhancement
  • practical experiences
  • academic learning
  • real-world applications
  • social cohesion
  • mutual support
  • time management
  • balancing priorities
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