IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write atleast 250 words.

There are
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 options
abuot
Correct your spelling
about
this
Linking Words
 topic. In my
options
Use the right word
opinion
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,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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believed
Wrong verb form
believe
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 that people are
differently
Replace the word
different
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 writing,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain my reasons and give examples . First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 in some
Correct your spelling
countries
countres
Punctuation problem
countres,
show examples
 are
either is
Correct word order
is either
show examples
 not
helping
Replace the word
helpful
show examples
 for fitness or training ,
for example
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 see more
athletic
Replace the word
athletes
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 not training in storms or hot
sone
Use the right word
sun
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 shows that you have to
hir
Use the right word
hire
show examples
trainer
Correct article usage
a trainer
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is have
Wrong verb form
who has
show examples
 to be in good weather . Another important reason is that in
mostly
Replace the word
most cases
show examples
 finding a persona to
thech
Correct your spelling
the
 fitness or trainer is
moer
Correct your spelling
more
 different .
for
Fix capitalization
For
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instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
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, you have to find the right persons,
this
Linking Words
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
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thet
Correct your spelling
that
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some people are not like to do sport. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that playing sports is the
most good
Correct word choice
best
show examples
think yo
Use the right word
thing you
show examples
do
Verb problem
can do
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 for
yoer
Correct your spelling
your
Heath
Use the right word
health
show examples
, because of the reasons
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned above.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on the structure of your essay. Start with a clear introduction that states your main idea. Use paragraphs for each reason you give. End with a strong conclusion.
task achievement
Try to be more specific in your examples. Explain clearly why trainers are chosen and how this affects people’s fitness.
task achievement
Check your grammar and spelling. There are several mistakes in words which can change the meaning. For example, 'countres' should be 'countries' and 'the most good think' should be 'the best thing'.
positive
You presented a clear opinion in your conclusion, which is important for answering the question.
positive
You tried to support your points with examples, which is good for developing your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal fitness trainer
  • exercise classes
  • sports
  • health and fitness
  • personalized fitness plans
  • nutritional guidance
  • social media
  • celebrity culture
  • individualized attention
  • fitness goals
  • busy lifestyles
  • accountability
  • motivation
  • workout regime
  • fitness journey
What to do next:
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