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Writing Samples
Band 4

Due to rapid development of technology children these days are living in a world that is completely different to what it was few decades back what problems can this cause for society and family?

In today`s digital world, the technology has
devloped
Correct your spelling
developed
 significantly, so children
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in a different world than a past decades.
Use synonyms
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
 nowadays
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 and
stying
Verb problem
stay
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home with
screen
Correct article usage
a screen
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they do not know about physical
games
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
 can create problems
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as eyesight
because
Punctuation problem
, because
show examples
 they use
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
show examples
 too much.
This
Linking Words
 new trend can affect
scoiety
Correct your spelling
society
 negatively, as they cannot make good
friends
Use synonyms
, or they may lose bonds with childhood
friends
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, kids nowadays
forgot
Wrong verb form
have forgotten
show examples
 the outdoor
games
Use synonyms
, and they focus only on video
games
Use synonyms
 and
play-stations
Use the right word
PlayStation
show examples
.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 world is
conected
Correct your spelling
connected
 with
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they often talk on
call
Check wording
the phone
show examples
 and play online
games
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Counterstrike and
Battlegame
Correct your spelling
Battleground
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 playing outdoor
games
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Cricket, Football and Hockey
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 replaced by social media and other online gaming platforms.
For example
Linking Words
, there was an article in the
TImes
Fix capitalization
Times
show examples
 of India which says only three per cent
kids
Change preposition
of kids
show examples
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 outdoor
games
Use synonyms
 in
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 time , in past there was all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
was playing
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
 outdoor
games
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can create many problems
such
Linking Words
 as physical
weeknees
Correct your spelling
weakness
 in children and many
eye related
Use the right word
eye-related
show examples
deases
Correct your spelling
diseases
.
As a result
Linking Words
, with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of outdoor
games
Use synonyms
, pupils
only can
Correct word order
can only
show examples
 meet their
friends
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a school.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 indoor
games
Use synonyms
 trend can affect the
friendsheep
Correct your spelling
friendships
 in future
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
this
Linking Words
 culture
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the chances of making good
friends
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
Use synonyms
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 aware
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 bad websites, which may teach them
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad habits
such
Linking Words
 as online
batting
Use the right word
betting
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done by Western Sydney University which mentioned
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
 kids can learn bad habits via phone and internet, which can affect family and society negatively, and
also
Linking Words
 increase
chances
Correct article usage
the chances
show examples
 of health problems in future. In conclusion, digital platforms can affect
Use synonyms
childrens
Check wording
children's
show examples
 health
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they
also
Linking Words
 have
Correct article usage
a chances
show examples
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
show examples
 to lose
friends
Use synonyms
 in future. As
Use synonyms
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 nowadays prefer to play
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home, in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 decades everyone was playing outdoor
games
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Work on grammar and spelling to improve clarity. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your ideas stronger.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the impact of technology on children and society.
task achievement
Your essay addresses important issues related to children’s health and friendships.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • face-to-face interactions
  • family bonds
  • health problems
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • healthcare system
  • quality of life
  • educational inequalities
  • social skills
  • real-life interactions
  • communicate effectively
  • cybersecurity risks
  • cyberbullying
  • online predators
  • inappropriate content
  • overreliance
  • problem-solving
  • creativity
  • critical thinking skills
  • monitor and regulate
  • conflicts
  • stress
  • technology usage
What to do next:
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