IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
The two given pie charts illustrate the average distribution of consumption in five categories in all
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in the year 2010. As an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, in both
graph
Fix the agreement mistake
graphs
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 the number of items across different categories
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 mixed.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 housing, food and other goods and services had the biggest share,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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transport and health care had
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 costs in both countries. As can be clearly seen from the graph, among all categories, housing in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and other goods and services in
Japan
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 34% and 29% respectively, have significantly highest portion in household spending.
In contrast
Linking Words
, health care was allocated as
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
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 contribution in both
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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can
Verb problem
means
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 reported all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people who live together in one house didn’t spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
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 health
aspect
Check wording
apply
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. In terms of comparison, the proportion of household spending on transport in
Japan
Use synonyms
 was two times greater than in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Indicated
Fix capitalization
indicated
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 Malaysian household spending less for vehicular movement.
In addition
Linking Words
, food in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 27% was three times bigger in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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