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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing house work in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing house work in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two charts illustrate the changes in the ownership of household electrical appliances and the amount of time spent on
housework
Use synonyms
 per week, separately
during
Punctuation problem
, during
show examples
 the data range from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a gradual increase in the number of owners who have appliances… owned appliances like refrigerators, washing machines, and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners over the years. At the same time, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on
housework
Use synonyms
 went down. In 1920, only about 30% of households had a washing machine, and almost no one had a refrigerator or
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner.
However
Linking Words
, by 1960, refrigerator and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner ownership had increased quickly to around 90%, and the washing machine
also
Linking Words
 rose to about 70%. After 1980, all three reached over 90%, and the refrigerator and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner both hit 100% by 2000.
Finally
Linking Words
, the washing machine line increased more slowly than the other two. It started at 30% in 1920, rose gradually, and reached around 90% in 2019, but did not grow as fast as refrigerators and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, time spent on
housework
Use synonyms
 dropped. In 1920, people spent about 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
This
Linking Words
 number fell to around 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 1960 and kept decreasing slowly after that. By 2019, households spent only about 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week on
housework
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words housework, vacuum, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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