IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

there
Fix capitalization
There
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 are many
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
 in
deferent
Use the right word
different
show examples
 countries
Correct pronoun usage
who moves
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moves
Correct subject-verb agreement
move
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 to live in the
cities
Use synonyms
. that because many things which let the
people
Use synonyms
 go to live in the
citys
Correct your spelling
cities
.
Such
Linking Words
 as better job opportunities and
more
Correct word choice
higher
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 standards of living .
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will talk about the advantages and the
disadvantages
Punctuation problem
disadvantages,
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also
Linking Words
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will
geva
Correct your spelling
give
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
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 personal opinion .
in
Change preposition
On
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 the first hand
what
Punctuation problem
, what
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the advantages to
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who moves
show examples
moves
Correct subject-verb agreement
move
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 to live in the
cities
Use synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Firstly
Linking Words
 is to have better
jods
Correct your spelling
jobs
.
its
Use the right word
It's
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 so easy to have a great job in the
city's
Check wording
cities
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.
and
Fix capitalization
And
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 you can choose what you like
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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because
the
Change preposition
of the
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 many offers in the
cities
Use synonyms
 .
Cities
Use synonyms
 often offer better educational and healthcare facilities, which can benefit those moving from rural areas.
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 the disadvantages that may
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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 if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
mones
Correct your spelling
move
 to the city.Rural depopulation might lead to social issues
such
Linking Words
 as the breakdown of community ties and the neglect of the elderly population
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 may be left behind. and
also
Linking Words
 Innovation and economic growth in
cities
Use synonyms
 can have positive spill-over effects on rural areas through remittances and investments.
and
Fix capitalization
And
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 if the city
be feel
Wrong verb form
feels
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 with
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
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its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 may be expensive
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will be hard to live a normal life .
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 the end,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 so
taf
Correct your spelling
tough
 to say what is better .
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
 maybe
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
moves
Correct subject-verb agreement
move
show examples
 to live in the
cities
Use synonyms
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
 the
most great
Correct word choice
greatest
show examples
 thing.
that
Fix capitalization
That
show examples
because
Verb problem
is because
show examples
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 advantages more than the disadvantages .
so
Fix capitalization
So
show examples
 in
may
Use the right word
my
show examples
 opinion
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will say that
positve
Correct your spelling
positive
 development

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction gives a clear overview of what you will discuss. Also, your conclusion should summarize your main points clearly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will help to explain your ideas better.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of moving to the city, which shows a balanced view.
task achievement
Your personal opinion is clear at the end, which is good for task completion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • overcrowding
  • standard of living
  • depopulation
  • agriculture
  • traditional industries
  • educational facilities
  • healthcare facilities
  • social issues
  • community ties
  • neglect
  • spill-over effects
  • remittances
  • investments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: