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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of hours worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart compares the amount of working time by males and females in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, most
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 worked between 30 and 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per week, but
men
Use synonyms
 were more likely than
women
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 to work longer
hours
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, especially over 60
hours
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. There is a big difference in the percentage of
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
, which are 5 and 15 from 0 to 10
hours
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.
Additionally
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, the percentage of
women
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 is more than 20 who work 10-20
hours
Use synonyms
 a week.
However
Linking Words
, there are fewer
men
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 who are just upper 10% who spend at the same time for work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of males is approximately 43, making them more than females, who are 35 in 30-50
hours
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, at 60 - 80
hours
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, there is the largest difference between
men
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 and
women
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. 30% of
men
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 worked 60–80
hours
Use synonyms
 per week, compared to just under 20% of
women
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spent
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of males and females is at the same level in over 80
hours
Use synonyms
, which is 10.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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