IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the devices people in the age 18 to 25 age group used to watch TV in Canada in 2009 and 2019.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the age 18 to 25 age group used to watch TV in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
The pie charts
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 information about which type of device people
use
Use synonyms
 in
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
18
Check wording
group 18
show examples
-25 to watch
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 in Canada in 2009 and 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be clearly seen that in 2019 people
in age
Change preposition
aged
show examples
 18-25
start
Replace the word
started
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
 Flat-screen
Use synonyms
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
 more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 Conventional
TV
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In
Linking Words
addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
 Tablet users in 2019 was considerably rised since 2009.Mobile phone users
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased rapidly in 2019,but
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
use
Use synonyms
Laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
 in 2019
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually decreased
Correct word order
decreased gradually
show examples
 since 2009. Conventional
TV
Use synonyms
 users
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 just above
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 in 2009 with 34%,
while
Linking Words
 in 2019
this
Linking Words
 number
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
significantly dropped
Correct word order
dropped significantly
show examples
 to only 4%.
Whereas
Linking Words
 people in Canada
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 to work with
Tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
tablets
show examples
 more in 2019
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 in 2009,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of Tablet owners
was rised
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 14%.Laptop likers
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lost their interest,their have 20% in 2009,but in 2019
this
Linking Words
 number
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
plunged to 12%.
Smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
Smartphones
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 being popular in 2019 than in 2009,as can be seen,their have 15% in 2009,their popularity in 2019
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
jumped to 26%
overall
Linking Words
.It is obvious that Conventional
TV
Use synonyms
 lost
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 popularity in 2019
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
even
so
Punctuation problem
so,
show examples
Canada
Replace the word
Canadian
show examples
 citizens
stayed
Verb problem
continued
show examples
 to
use
Use synonyms
TV
Use synonyms
,but
change
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to Flat
.
Check wording
screens.
show examples

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words use, tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
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