IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money – making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

there
Fix capitalization
There
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 are many people
how
Correct word choice
who
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believ
Correct your spelling
believe
 that if the cultural traditions
used
Verb problem
are used
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 as a money
maker
Punctuation problem
maker,
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will be destroyed.
other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
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 see
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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a
Change preposition
as a
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very good way to save those traditions
Correct word choice
so as to
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to not
Correct word order
not to
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 despair.
in
Fix capitalization
In
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this
Linking Words
essay
Punctuation problem
essay,
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 I will
enterduos
Correct your spelling
examine
the
Correct article usage
apply
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both opinions is i will
geve
Correct your spelling
give
 my opinion . iit so good to have the nice gurney so yejdskfvkdfilبيبeufiesffnkdsfbseifisdfbseoifsdguhsc dbncsd scscsdc scns sckjsn dcdsvbcscsncjgdsbcjdchybdc dc njsvs cf4powuyw8jwdhbwj csdbvshsblbfguagiuafgusherg;i rgaug;djk;bvarg aruafgkbv caliufvharnvoairva va;uiak;jgaljgaoighrioauekr.gjabgk;augadkra.jgbrarigajhbgaugajbgaigiga grgbrg rg
g
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 gg
g
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 gr
g
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 qeg. eg ar ga aga gt ae5ag
r
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 reg
r
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 aa rg aer
g
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 aerkgja gkag.
r
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 re gairugagu ag aigua ig aeug a giaeru gaiuga ig giradgu aiugriadg aiug a girugiai ga guguai giarubga firug
r
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 gau gag krgui guaui a iga gra igruairugabgiarega
g
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 iaufgauufbguieriu gigubrugbgrbaigiudgi auguibgbriuaebgaroiar arubogoarigibigiogoabgagiaoghag agaogahgaibgae va a
g
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r
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 agrg afdg gdfg dgr gg d drgdr grdg dgdg
g
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 d
g
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 gd
g
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 dg d great
day
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 is a great way for me and my friends to come over for the weekend so we will be able for the
day
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 and time for the first
day
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 of school I was going to go to the store to see what I was looking at and it is not the best way for me I can do a little more work and more to be able for a long
day
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 or so much better and the best thing is that the game has been the same for me but it is not the best game in my world and it was so fun and it is so addictive and the game is 5ths is a great 👍
day
Use synonyms
 I will be back to school in about an over year so that we can make a new phone call and let you go and get the car to go pick it

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task achievement
Make sure to write clear sentences that express your ideas. It is important to stay focused on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas. Each paragraph should have one main idea that is clear to understand.
task achievement
Avoid mixing random words that do not connect to your topic. Stick to relevant points to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You attempt to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commodified
  • Authenticity
  • Cultural misunderstanding
  • Over-commercialization
  • Staged authenticity
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural preservation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cultural commodification
  • Tourist expectations
  • Financial support
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Intangible cultural heritage
What to do next:
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