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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

n the past, most working people had only one job. However, nowadays, more and more people have more than one job at the same time. What are the reasons for this development? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having more than one job?

In recent years,people
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 working in more than one
job
Use synonyms
 at the same time. The main reason behind
this
Linking Words
 development is that our needs are increasing over time,and the most important advantage is increasing profits,
while
Linking Words
 fatigue is the main drawback. Human needs are evolving every day because the prices are increasing in
this
Linking Words
 fast world, If a person have a big family, that would put a strain on them and make them work harder to provide the basic human rights for their loved ones, and
that is
Linking Words
 not enough because everything is getting expensive and a basic
job
Use synonyms
 wouldn't fill these importancies,
for example
Linking Words
, in the UK a 1000$ salary in the past was enough for a family consists of 7 members, but now it dosen't cover even the food and water for a 3 family members. Improving the person's live quality is considered a crucial benefit from having more than a
job
Use synonyms
, people who works in several positions are getting more profits,
as a result
Linking Words
, their circumstances are better than those who decided to stay in one
job
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
,the families of people with two jobs in the US are happier by 60% compared to the other families.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 put real pressure on the workers
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they end up exhausted every day
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they can't spend any leisure time with their relatives or friends. In conclusion, life costs more and more every single day with the evolving world,and getting more jobs would solve the financial problems, but it would
also
Linking Words
 generate new ones , like fatigue.

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Your essay addresses an important topic that many people can relate to, which is great!

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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