IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, a small number of people have extremely high annual incomes. These people should be required to pay a much higher rate of income tax. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no doubt that citizens should contribute to their nation's welfare by paying the annuity fees, but some argue that the amount they pay is determined by the person's financial state, so high
income
Use synonyms
 leads to higher
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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tax
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.
While
Linking Words
 others do not agree, and see that it must be
in
Change preposition
apply
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the same percentage
tax
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 for all humans, in my opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement at all.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, states should issue a stable
tax
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 percentage for all human beings. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 paying
income
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fees
Check wording
taxes
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 for those portion that
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 extremely high incomes is higher compared to the poor
Use synonyms
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
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, it is not fair for rich
people
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it will lead them to make a choice of leaving the country. It would sound like a charity for the poverty population, and let them feel guilty for that.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey has asked
people
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 about rules
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
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 on the rich
people
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 that would force them to pay the
tax
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income
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 more than
normal
Correct article usage
the normal
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income
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 portions. 78% which is
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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, refuse
this
Linking Words
 idea. Another point to consider, the high annual incomes are few, so if the governments do
this
Linking Words
, there will be no longer rich
people
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 at all,
as a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will affect the countries badly in the economic sense, and will not be applicable
orders
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apply
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to invest in the nation's matters.
For example
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,
people
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 tend to invest in the stable nations more than unstable ones, because they fear their money
goes
Wrong verb form
will go
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 negative for the countries facing economic dangers. In conclusion, despite humans having different views, I tend to think that states should issue a rule that lets the whole citizens pay the same amount of fees because it is not right to take someone's money for being rich. and the disadvantages for the nations.

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task achievement
Use clearer topic sentences and support each point with specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the linking of ideas between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic, which is a good start.
task achievement
The use of examples, even if limited, shows an effort to support your argument.
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