IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing.

I agree it is more important to plant
trees
Use synonyms
 in the open spaces in
towns
Use synonyms
 and
cities
Use synonyms
 than to build more housing. The following content is why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, with the continuous development of society, environmental protection is becoming increasingly important, and
plant
Replace the word
planting
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 in the open spaces in
towns
Use synonyms
 is an effective way to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, more
trees
Use synonyms
 will make the air fresher, and
on the other hand
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 help to make the soil more fertile. At the same time, the process of planting
trees
Use synonyms
 can help people strengthen their bodies and prevent them from getting sick easily. Regularly looking at
trees
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for improving our eyesight.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, only when
towns
Use synonyms
 develop can
cities
Use synonyms
 follow suit.If there
no
Verb problem
are no
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 in rural areas, the
environment
Use synonyms
 will become worse, which will make it more difference for
cities
Use synonyms
 to build houses.
In addition
Linking Words
, in recent years, the continuous
build
Wrong verb form
building of
show examples
 more housing has made
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 living
environment
Use synonyms
lower
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there have been enough houses built in
cities
Use synonyms
 in recent years, and if there were more housing to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
, we would not even be able to see the entire sky. Living in
such
Linking Words
 an
environment
Use synonyms
 every day would cause people to suffer from mental illness. In
conclude
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, there are many benefits to planting
trees
Use synonyms
 in the open spaces in
towns
Use synonyms
 compared to building houses in the
cities
Use synonyms
, so I do agree with
this
Linking Words
 view.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but you can strengthen it by summarizing your main points briefly. Make sure your thesis statement is direct.
coherence cohesion
In your body paragraphs, try to use clearer topic sentences. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points about the benefits of trees and the problems with buildings.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to revise grammar and sentence structure to avoid confusion.
task achievement
You've clearly expressed your opinion on the topic, which is important.
task achievement
You mentioned various benefits of planting trees, which shows you have some understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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