IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the expanditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010

The bar chart below shows the expanditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010
The bar chart illustrates how much
money
Use synonyms
 was spent on five items in two countries (
France
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
) during 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent more
money
Use synonyms
 on almost all goods than
France
Use synonyms
, except
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 computers and perfume.
The most
Correct determiner usage
Most
show examples
 of the
money
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 spent on cars, computers , and books. Cars became the leader
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all products in both
counties
Use the right word
countries
show examples
, reaching just over 450,000 and 400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
France
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, computers in
France
Use synonyms
 presented approximately 375,000 , overtaking
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
just by
Correct word order
by just
show examples
 25,000
pounds
Use synonyms
. The difference in
spent
Replace the word
spending
show examples
 on books,
however
Linking Words
,
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 higher. Specifically, just above 400,000
were
Check wording
pounds were
show examples
 spent on books in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 ,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 100,000
less
Correct word order
pounds less
show examples
pounds
Use synonyms
 were spent on it in
France
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, perfume and cameras were
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 least
money
Use synonyms
-spent items. Perfume in
France
Use synonyms
 showed
figure
Correct article usage
a figure
show examples
200,000
Change preposition
of 200,000
show examples
 and about 140,000 in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 cameras in
France
Use synonyms
 reached the lowest amount of
money
Use synonyms
Linking Words
above
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, cameras in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 became
third-tier
Correct article usage
a third-tier
show examples
 product with around 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 spent.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, france, uk, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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