"Fewer working days and more holidays would benefit employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Working duration is crucial these
days
Use synonyms
. The number of working
days
Use synonyms
should be reduced, which means extra holidays. I totally advocate
this
Linking Words
viewpoint for two reasons
;
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
the first is to reduce the pressure and stress on each individual,
while
Linking Words
the second is to provide the employees with more
time
Use synonyms
with their families and
friends
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, one main reason is that the worker can stay away from the pressure and stress caused by the work environment. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, if a citizen is working seven
days
Use synonyms
a week,
this
Linking Words
will cause him to do more work and deal with many people, which in turn will affect his well-being as a human who needs
time
Use synonyms
to relax.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a man is working at a company as a call
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
agent, that forces him to work all day.
This
Linking Words
will eventually cause
this
Linking Words
man to suffer from a hectic routine and anxiety. Moving to another reason, which is that shorter working weeks imply extra
time
Use synonyms
with their families and
friends
Use synonyms
. If a man has the opportunity to spend more
time
Use synonyms
with his family,
this
Linking Words
will result in providing care and protection to his family. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, keeping close to our
wife
Fix the agreement mistake
wives
show examples
and kids will generate a spirit of harmony among all members.
In addition
Linking Words
, not only families but
also
Linking Words
friends
Use synonyms
can benefit from extra free working
days
Use synonyms
to hang out together. In conclusion, a shorter working
time
Use synonyms
each week will produce extra
time
Use synonyms
to keep away from pressure and stress.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, knowing that he has less working
time
Use synonyms
, an
employer
Use the right word
employee
show examples
can spend additional
time
Use synonyms
with family and
friends
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
will have a positive impact on workers. In my opinion, reducing the number of working
days
Use synonyms
and working hours will contribute to a better working lifestyle for the whole community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good. However, consider adding a brief outline of your main points to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Using linking words like 'firstly', 'also', and 'finally' can help make your writing flow better.
task response
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there's enough detail to support it. This will strengthen your arguments.
task response
You have a clear opinion, and your reasons are relevant and understandable.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main ideas and restates your opinion clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: