IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that
teenagers
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 should be required to do unpaid
community
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work
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 in their free time
,
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;
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 they say that it can benefit
teenagers
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 and the
community
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 as well. I assume that they do have a point
but
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, but
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 going beyond that
point
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point,
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 some will find more negative sides to
this
Linking Words
idea
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. When
teenagers
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 do
community
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work
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 in their free time, it can lead to finding joy in helping, gaining more manners, and finding a positive and
a
Correct article usage
apply
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comforting environment.
the
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The
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community
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also
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 gains more since
its
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it's
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 all being done for free.
it
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It
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 can lead to a clean planet and
also
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 can maintain it if
its
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it's
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 done commonly.
but
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But
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 there is definitely a line that
this
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idea
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 crosses.
teenagers
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 would view
this
Linking Words
idea
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 as a selfish
idea
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 since they do all of the
job
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work
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 and raise no money.
we
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We
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 live in a world where if u want something
done
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done,
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 you need to pay for it, because everything in
this
Linking Words
 world has a price tag on it.
Linking Words
also
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Also
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, since the
community
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work
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 is going to cause the
teenagers
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 to be tired,
i
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I
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 think they deserve at least a motive to help them contribute
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as gifts, free food and free rides to the
community
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work
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 location.
and
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And
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 so
i
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I
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 think the
idea
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 can meet both the satisfaction of the people who carry the
idea
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 and the
teenagers
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.

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task response
The introduction could be clearer. State your position more strongly. For example, "I partially agree with the view that teenagers should do community work."
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words, like 'firstly', 'however', and 'finally' to make your points flow better.
task response
Include specific examples to make your ideas stronger. For example, how community work helped other teenagers.
coherence and cohesion
Try to have a clear conclusion that summarizes your views, ending with a strong statement.
positive
You present a balanced view by discussing both benefits and downsides of community work.
positive
Your points are relevant to the topic and show understanding of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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