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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides key information about the consumption of certain types of drinks, which are
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea, of the customers in five cities in
Austraila
Correct your spelling
Australia
. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that the
bought drinks
Correct word order
drinks bought
show examples
 from the cafe shop
nearly
Verb problem
is nearly
show examples
 the highest among the five cities. And what
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 next is bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 continues instant
flevour
Correct your spelling
flavour
. The
last
Linking Words
 thing in line is the fresh beans consumers.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Melbounre
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 people have
went
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 to a
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop and ordered a
coffee
Use synonyms
 or a tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 month, with approximately 64%. As well
to
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the Hobart people
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
displays
Correct subject-verb agreement
display
show examples
 almost the same
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
Melbounre
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 individuals.
Sydneys
Check wording
Sydney's
show examples
 consumption
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 quite close
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both fresh and plevoured
coffee
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 almost 45%, in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
Brisbane
Add a comma
Brisbane,
show examples
 humans
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to Cafes and
drunk
Replace the word
drink
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the recent month, with
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
above
Check wording
increase
show examples
 of
55
Change preposition
over 55
show examples
%, and nearly 53%, respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, Adelaide people have similar
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
 to Brisbane
human beings
Check wording
people
show examples
.
Coffee
Use synonyms
 places and the instant
flevour
Correct your spelling
flavour
 were the majority portion of citizens.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 is the least
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 among all five cities.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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