IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graphs show the percentage of people using public transport and people using private cars in five cities of Australia from 2000 to 2010.

The line graphs show the percentage of people using public transport and people using private cars in five cities of Australia from 2000 to 2010.
The graph illustrates how many people used public
transport
Use synonyms
 in 5 different cities over the 10-year period.
Contries
Correct your spelling
Countries
 include Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth and Adelaide.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Brisbane
Add a comma
Brisbane,
show examples
 there was a significant growth
Change preposition
in of
show examples
of usage
Correct word order
usage of
show examples
 city
transport
Use synonyms
 so that it even exceeded the historically high percentage in Sydney. Others had remained stable for 10 years. Beginning with the most
urbanized
Use the right word
urbanised
show examples
 cities, the
Sydney's
Check wording
Sydney
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 system was used by 20% of citizens
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
, since
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
show examples
 the percentage
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 increased
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 close to 25%. At the same time,
Melboure
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 demonstrated
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar popularity of public transportation
having
Punctuation problem
, having
show examples
 around 18-19%
gerular
Correct your spelling
regular
 users over the given period.
By contrast
Linking Words
, only 15% of Brisbane's population used city
transport
Use synonyms
 in 2000, but it had markedly grown
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 27% by 2010.
Additionally
Linking Words
, despite a slight rise in
usage public
Correct word order
public transport usage
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 from 2004 until 2007, Perth mostly showed 10% of users,
while
Linking Words
 Adelaide
only
Verb problem
had only
show examples
 about 5%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words transport with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: