IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

In general, some cities have their own style
to build
Change preposition
for building
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 based on the condition of the
land
Use synonyms
. If we go to the
city
Use synonyms
, most of the buildings are taller than in the countryside. There are several reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 that condition, and
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 essay with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 and
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
show examples
 explanation. Let's take a look
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
city
Use synonyms
, the first
cause
Check wording
reason
show examples
 is
there
Correct word choice
that there
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no other space to build a
Use synonyms
house wider
Correct word order
wider house
show examples
. People tend to construct
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taller
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 to
maximize
Use the right word
maximise
show examples
 the
land
Use synonyms
 capacity. The next reason is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 price of the
land
Use synonyms
 is expensive, including taxes and all expenditures. And the
last
Linking Words
 one is
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 population in the
city
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
 is higher than in the village, so they must create
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skyscrapers to maintain all conditions. On the other side, people construct a wider
house
Use synonyms
 because the price of the
land
Use synonyms
 is cheaper than in the
city
Use synonyms
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
house
Use synonyms
 in Pekanbaru is five times wider than in Jakarta. They have more space, so they can build any garden, even for
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
 pool.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some cities have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 constructing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taller properties,
such
Linking Words
 as Batam and Bali. The government make the regulation for supporting aviation rules in Batam and respecting
balinese
Fix capitalization
Balinese
show examples
belief
Fix the agreement mistake
beliefs
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, creating a property needs more consideration. If you have a small
land
Use synonyms
 in the metropolitan area,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 suggest
you
Correct word choice
that you
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
build a taller building
as well as
Linking Words
 we have to pay attention
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 constructing
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
properties in a certain area.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion about which solution is better in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between your ideas to help the reader follow your points more easily.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments about both building styles.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.
content
You provided some good reasons for both building taller buildings and wider houses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
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