Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others believe that they should start school at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
when they are young, maybe around 3 or 4 years old. Some others believe that
children
Use synonyms
going to
school
Use synonyms
at 7 is good.
This
Linking Words
essay will look at both ideas and give my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the
children
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go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
to
school
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soon can help them
faster
Verb problem
learn faster
show examples
. The
children
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can learn to read, write and talk with their friends.
This
Linking Words
idea helps them be smarter.
For example
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, in the Thai Lan, the
children
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have to go to
school
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at 3
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
old , and
this
Linking Words
education is good.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think
children
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should play at home more
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they believe
children
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under 7 years old don't need to go to
school
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. They need more time to play
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
with their family.
For example
Linking Words
, in Viet Nam,
children
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go to
school
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at 7 years old and education in Viet
Nam's
Check wording
Nam
show examples
is good.
Body paragraph 3
In my opinion, I think
children
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should go to
school
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at 7. I think
children
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need more time for play and with their family.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both ideas are good , but I think that
children
Use synonyms
should go to
school
Use synonyms
at 7 .
luutuantai12345
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task achievement
Your introduction gives a clear topic, but it could be clearer about what you believe. Consider stating your opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use better linking words to connect your ideas. Phrases like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' can help more.
task achievement
In the supporting ideas, make sure to explain why those points are important. You should add more details to make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar. Words like '3 year old' should be '3 years old', and 'Thai Lan' should be 'Thailand'.
task achievement
You clearly stated both sides of the argument, which is very good.
task achievement
You provided examples from Thailand and Vietnam, which strengthens your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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