IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people reside in their home town for long period. do are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

Basically, people all over the world
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 live in their places of birth. Nowadays it is
to
Use the right word
too
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 hard and very expensive to change your
place
Use synonyms
 of living. Residing in your
home
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town
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 for a long period in
life
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 has advantages and disadvantages. I will try to give pros and cons of residing in
yourhome
Correct your spelling
your
town
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. As I have experience living in my
place
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 of birth and abroad. To be in your hometown gives you many things ,
such
Linking Words
 as the ability of friends, a cheap apartment, and it is much easier to find a job. Another reason you can always be with your family. They can help you every time you need. You can save a lot of money and time
while
Linking Words
 you are at
home
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, usually you can live with your family or friends.
This
Linking Words
 way of
life
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 can make you happy. If you want to leave your
home
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town
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 and change your
life
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, it is up to you. But you will need a lot of patience. First of all, you need to find a good job
,
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apply
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 to earn more because you will spend more money on living. You will be far away from neighbours, for me it is very hard to be alone
a
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in a
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new
place
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. It can take a lot of time and money to make a new
life
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a
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in a
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new
place
Use synonyms
. To find a really good
place
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 for a living
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is not an easy task. Residing
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your
home
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town
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 is great and much easier. By the way,
this
Linking Words
 has many good and bad things. I think everyone should make decisions
by
Change preposition
apply
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yourself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. First of
all
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all,
show examples
 you need to be happy in the
place
Use synonyms
 where you are now. If you need new experience, it is good to try to change your hometown.

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task response
The introduction needs to clearly state the topic. Avoid using phrases like 'many things' and be specific about the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your ideas. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help the reader understand your points better.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific jobs or activities that are easier to find in your hometown.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points clearly. Make sure it reflects a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages discussed.
task response
You have a good understanding of the topic and discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
The personal touch about your experience makes the essay more engaging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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