IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Government invest in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It is argued that the
country
Use synonyms
's management should spend on public
services
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of the
Use synonyms
art's
Check wording
art
show examples
 industry. From my point of view, I strongly agree as the
services
Use synonyms
 would benefit all of the citizens,
instead
Linking Words
 of only
one
Use synonyms
 particular group of them, who are interested in
art
Use synonyms
, and the general
services
Use synonyms
 would
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
 the government's income better.  On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
 the government should care for
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
 the
art
Use synonyms
 as it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a number of
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 inhabitants
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
However
Linking Words
, the
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
 service would be more important for every single inhabitant.
In addition
Linking Words
, when the state
invest
Correct subject-verb agreement
invests
show examples
 in
infrastracture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 of the
country
Use synonyms
, all of the citizens would use not only a part of
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, California State University have made a study
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
comparing
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 importance of
Use synonyms
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 facilities, and they
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a result that showed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
infrastaruction
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 is the most important facility.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of money reward of the government's investments, the public
services
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the
most high
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
. People in every
country
Use synonyms
 use the public
services
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
base
Check wording
basis
show examples
,
thus
Linking Words
, they will spend more money if we compare it with the
art
Use synonyms
 revenue.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
UK
Punctuation problem
UK,
show examples
 68% of the
country
Use synonyms
's income
stands
Wrong verb form
is spent
show examples
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.  In
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, Governments have to invest in what would profit their countries more.
While
Linking Words
 the
art
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of
industry
Replace the word
the industries
show examples
 that the management of the
country
Use synonyms
 should care about, the
puplic
Correct your spelling
public
services
Use synonyms
 are more important.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state your stance. Make sure to outline your main points clearly in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help structure your ideas better. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that you proofread your work to fix spelling mistakes, such as 'puplic' and 'infrastructure'.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and provide reasons for your stance, which is a strong aspect of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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