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Writing Samples
Band 8

The bar chart shows the number of worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of worked per week by men and women in Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of fellows and women and their weekly working dates,
such
Linking Words
 as 0-10, from 10 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
,30-50, 60-80 and over 80 in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, 30-50
hours
Use synonyms
,which were very demanding for all workers,
while
Linking Words
 over 80 and 0-10
hours
Use synonyms
 were required less than at other days. In Australia, the number of people who worked 0-10 ages per week was very low. bloke at 5%,and women at 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 .The second lowest
hours
Use synonyms
 were over 80 ,and the proportion of girls and males was the same at 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
. From 10 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
, the number of madams was just above 10 % and bro at 25 %.
By contrast
Linking Words
, 30-50 working cycles were the highest compared to others. Gays are approximately at 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
 ,and lesbians are at 35 %.
Second,
Linking Words
the most demanded
hours
Use synonyms
 were 60-80 at 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 by males,and 16 % by gentlewomen.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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