The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instruments in 2005, 2010, and 2015.

The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instruments in 2005, 2010, and 2015.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart shows the percentage of school children learning to play different musical instruments in 2005, 2010, and 2015.
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of four instruments-
guitar
Use synonyms
,
piano
Use synonyms
, drum and
violin
Use synonyms
, which students learn to perform in a
20-year-period
Correct your spelling
20-year period
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
guitar
Correct article usage
the guitar
show examples
constantly remains the most popular instrument from 2005 to 2015, with
Use synonyms
piano
Correct article usage
the piano
show examples
stays
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
the second place.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
number of figures
show examples
who learn
drum
Correct article usage
the drum
show examples
and
violin
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
relatively less. In 2005, there were more than 10% school children learning to play
Use synonyms
guitar
Correct article usage
the guitar
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the percentage of
learning
Check wording
children learning
show examples
piano
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
approximately 10%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the proportion of playing
drum
Correct article usage
the drum
show examples
and
violin
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
both under 10%, with 6% and 8% respectively. The total percentage of students who learn to perform the above four instruments
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
only about 35%, which was less than 50%. By
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
2015, the dominant instrument that school children
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
to learn was still
Use synonyms
guitar
Correct article usage
the guitar
show examples
, which
a protortion
Check wording
accounted
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
26%.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
piano
Correct article usage
the piano
show examples
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
remains popular, which just less
1
Change preposition
than 1
show examples
%
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the former. Meanwhile, the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
guitar
Use synonyms
and
piano
Use synonyms
both experienced
Correct article usage
a sharply
show examples
sharply
Replace the word
sharp
show examples
increase
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
suggested that the number of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
learning to perform these two instruments .
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of learning to play
drum
Correct article usage
the drum
show examples
was superior to
Use synonyms
violin
Correct article usage
the violin
show examples
, with 8% and 7% and showed that the number of learners with these two instruments didn't change
appearently
Correct your spelling
apparently
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words piano, violin, guitar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remains" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • musical instruments
  • school children
  • trends
  • popularity
  • increases
  • decreases
  • comparison
  • analysis
  • demographic factors
  • societal trends
  • educational policies
  • influence
  • cultural development
  • accessibility
  • musical education
  • participation
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