IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
countries
Use synonyms
' expenditures for
oil
Use synonyms
 searching are still high,
while
Linking Words
 they must find
differentation
Correct your spelling
diversification
 of energy resources, so if they run out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
oil
Punctuation problem
oil,
show examples
 they still
own
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
 to run their
countries
Use synonyms
. From my point of view, I strongly agree
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two reasons
,
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 if the
oil
Use synonyms
 in the
world
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
runs
show examples
run
Change the verb form
runs
show examples
 out, the global
economy
Use synonyms
 will be pulled down, and using other that
oil
Use synonyms
 resources
such
Linking Words
 as green
energies
Punctuation problem
energies,
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
nessecery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for the environment. On the one hand, nowadays,
Use synonyms
economy of the
Correct word order
the economy of
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
 plays an important role in many
countries
Use synonyms
. If they
stand
Verb problem
base
show examples
 their income on only
oil
Use synonyms
, they will be broke in the future, which will
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 their
countries
Use synonyms
 harshly.
For example
Linking Words
, University of Harvard
published
Check wording
University published
show examples
 a study,
illustrate
Wrong verb form
illustrating
show examples
 that %60 of international
countries
Use synonyms
 stand their incomes on
Use synonyms
oil
Correct article usage
the oil
show examples
 industry, and
this
Linking Words
 would
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
major
Correct article usage
a major
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 effective
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
economy
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when the
world
Use synonyms
's
oil
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
no longer
exsit
Correct your spelling
exists
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Oil
Correct article usage
the Oil
show examples
 industry has impacted the
world
Use synonyms
's environment. The
oil
Use synonyms
 factories are full of
poison
Replace the word
poisonous
show examples
 gases.
In addition
Linking Words
, they burn
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 number of
Use synonyms
oil's
Check wording
oil
show examples
 sources in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of finding pure
oil
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many studies
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 found
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that in
Correct article usage
the arbian
show examples
arbian
Correct your spelling
Arabian Gulf
gulf
Punctuation problem
gulf,
show examples
 they
burns
Correct subject-verb agreement
burn
show examples
 12 tons of
unuseful
Correct word choice
useless
show examples
 materials
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
they produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
 their pure
oil
Use synonyms
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 a major impact on their air quality.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 sum up, the
global's
Check wording
global
show examples
 society must spend more money to find
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of different energy resources.
Thus
Linking Words
,to
remain
Verb problem
keep
show examples
 the
world
Use synonyms
's
economy
Use synonyms
 strong, keep the
global's
Check wording
global
show examples
 environment clean and healthy.

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task response
Improve your introduction by clearly stating your position. Make it more direct and structured. Include a brief outline of the reasons to support your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer paragraph structure. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that clearly relates to your main point for better understanding.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to correct grammatical errors. For example, use 'necessary' instead of 'nessecery' and 'exists' instead of 'exsit' to enhance clarity.
task response
You have a clear opinion on the topic and present two reasons to support your viewpoint, which is a good approach.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
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