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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think what
children
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 learned in
school
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 is useless,
while
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 others believe that the
subjects
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 they learned in
school
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 have their own
usages
Check wording
uses
show examples
 and meanings. In my opinion, what is taught
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 students
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 campus is obtained through plenty of
practice
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 and theory, so
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 must be useful for
children
Use synonyms
's growth anytime and anywhere. On the one hand,the theoretical
subjects
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 taught in
school
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 are the foundation for us to accomplish tasks.
Firstly
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, history and literature
subjects
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 can help
children
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 understand human culture,cultivate critical thinking and broaden their horizon
,
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;
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these have a profound impact on their future as members of
community
Correct article usage
the community
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.
Secondly
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,
subjects
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 like mathematics and science can
practice
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 logical reasoning and analytical abilities,which are valuable in the future,especially for the development of a country.Having these
curriculums
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curricula
show examples
 is not a waste of time, but the cornerstone of our
following
Correct word choice
future
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practice
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.
On the other hand
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, with the continuous development of society, the educational system
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
also
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realized
Use the right word
realised
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 the importance of cultivating practical skills after conducting indoor study. Perhaps some people think that learning knowledge in
school
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 is just a waste of time
and
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, and
show examples
 it is better to go out and
practice
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, but I oppose
this
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 viewpoint.
For instance
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, in the secondary
school
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 I once attended, plenty of new related courses were offered,
such
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 as
practice
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 activities and voluntary service. Their practical and hands-on skills have
also
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 been strengthened at
this
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 rate. In conclusion, the knowledge
children
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 learned in
school
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 is definitely useful, whether from a theoretical or practical perspective, it will be of great benefit to them in their future
further
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 education or work.

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structure
Begin with a clear stance in the introduction and repeat it in the end.
coherence
Each part should show one main idea and connect to the next part.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas are linked.
content
Add more detail to back up each point and fit the idea well.
content
Give one clear example for each idea and explain why it helps.
grammar
Check small spelling and mark space after comma to keep flow.
content
The essay shows a view on both sides.
content
There is an example from school in the text.
structure
The last line repeats the writer's view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • social skills
  • well-rounded education
  • outdated curriculum
  • technological advancements
  • job market needs
  • subject relevance
  • career paths
  • diverse skill set
  • knowledge base
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