IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and worker should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that people work to have
money
Use synonyms
 and develop their skills in life. Some companies have four
days
Use synonyms
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
 ,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means the
workers
Use synonyms
 have more
days
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
. In my opinion, I strongly agree with having long
days
Use synonyms
 for rest from a job ,
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees should have
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 time for family and good
resting
Replace the word
rest
show examples
,
moreover
Linking Words
, saving
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the companies and those
workers
Use synonyms
. First and foremost, there are many hard jobs
require
Correct pronoun usage
that require
show examples
 extra holidays for having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rest.
In other words
Linking Words
, when the company gives
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
weekend
Use synonyms
 ,the
workers
Use synonyms
 will spend that time with their family and
also
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
relaxing .
As a result
Linking Words
, the
workers
Use synonyms
 will be more active and production
after
Verb problem
will increase after
show examples
holidays
Correct article usage
the holidays
show examples
 .
For example
Linking Words
, studies in the UK centre
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that there is a gradual rise in production in the factories because the managers give their
workers
Use synonyms
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
weekend
Use synonyms
 than before.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are benefits for longer
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
Punctuation problem
, specially
show examples
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies. They will save
money
Use synonyms
 because they have free
days
Use synonyms
 will not cost
money
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
, the GMK company shows
reduce
Wrong verb form
a reduction
show examples
 in payments
as a result
Linking Words
 of
offer
Replace the word
offering
show examples
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
 day on
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, another advantage related to
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is the decrease in traffic
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 main streets because the
using
Check wording
use
show examples
 of transportation will be less than
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use the right word
workdays
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
, statistics in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 that the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of local transportation
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
declined
Replace the word
declines
show examples
 in
weekend
Use synonyms
 approximately 40%
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other
days
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
 , there are different opinions
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 working
days
Use synonyms
some
Punctuation problem
. Some
show examples
 people find long
Use synonyms
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
 better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others disagree ,
while
Linking Words
 I tend to have more
days
Use synonyms
 to be more active
also
Linking Words
 have extra time with my family.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
You have a clear view, but come with 2 or 3 main ideas that are easy to link.
tip
Make each paragraph hold one main idea and add a short example to back it up.
tip
Check grammar to make your point clear and correct mistakes that hide meaning.
strength
The essay shows the writer has a clear view on the topic.
strength
There are sign posts that tell the reader where the argument goes (First, On the other hand, To sum up).
What to do next:
Look at other essays: