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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Robots‌ ‌can‌ ‌free‌ ‌people‌ ‌from‌ ‌difficult‌ ‌and‌ ‌dangerous‌ ‌work.‌ ‌However,‌ ‌some‌ ‌people‌ ‌are‌ ‌worried‌ ‌about‌ ‌the‌ ‌possible‌ ‌dangers‌ ‌robots‌ ‌may‌ ‌create. Discuss‌ ‌the‌ ‌benefits‌‌ ‌of‌ ‌using‌ ‌robots‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌‌possible‌ ‌dangers‌‌ ‌associated with ‌them.‌ ‌

Some would claim that
robots
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 can be used
instead
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 of humans in dangerous work,
while
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 others argue that
robots
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 can lead to several dangers.
While
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robots
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 can assist heavily in many hazardous fields, I believe that they can result in
job
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loss
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 for many
workers
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 in different sectors. The main advantage of
utilizing
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utilising
show examples
robots
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 in difficult jobs is that it prevents
workers
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 from injuries and helps with difficult
tasks
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. Many
workers
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 are getting hurt on their
job
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, especially in fields like construction.
Therefore
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,
robots
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 can enable the bosses not to worry about the safety of the
workers
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 since he or she can purchase or manufacture a robot for their purposes.
Additionally
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, having a robot to do hard
tasks
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 can allow the
workers
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 to gain enough time to rest and focus on the other
tasks
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 that the
robots
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 can not assist them with.
For example
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, a Chinese company named Shawomi had manufactured a robot to help create electronic chips for their watches. Despite
this
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, I believe that a lot of
robots
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 can result in
job
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loss
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 for many
workers
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, which is an economic crisis.
Robots
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 can replace
workers
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 in their jobs, leading them to have a financial burden, particularly when the employer has a family.
Thus
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, several governments are encouraging companies to reduce the number of
robots
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 in order to decrease the
job
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loss
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 rate.
For instance
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, the Japanese working ministry had required companies and firms to have no more than six
robots
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 to avoid creating
job
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 losses, and if the company had not followed
this
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 rule,
this
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 might lead them to a case in the court, which could affect their reputation. From my perspective, I think that using
robots
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 in an adequate number can lead to the maximum benefit
while
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 not impacting pupils' jobs. In conclusion,
although
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robots
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 can help in different
tasks
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, they
also
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 lead to
job
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loss
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, which might affect
workers
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 financially, and
therefore
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, they should be used sparingly. rate my ielts

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structure
Plan a clear view in the intro and state your stance.
example
Use real and simple examples that fit the topic and are true.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words; keep one idea per paragraph.
grammar
Check spelling and word form (cannot, they, etc.).
task response
The essay shows a clear aim to discuss both pros and cons.
coherence
There are some good linking words to move thoughts.
structure
Paragraphs show a plan and a conclusion.
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