IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.
The bar chart illustrates the expenses of France and the
UK
Use synonyms
 in pounds sterling on five different consumer goods in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, French and
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens spent the most money on cars.
However
Linking Words
, the least spent on by French
people
Use synonyms
 was
cameras
Change preposition
on cameras
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
UK
Use synonyms
 residents spent the
lowest
Correct word choice
least
show examples
 on perfumes.
UK
Use synonyms
 residents spent more than the French on cars, books, and cameras. Regarding cars, both countries spent the most on them; the French spent £400,000, but the
UK
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
spent more on them by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
£50,000
difference
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens
also
Linking Words
 spent more than the French on books, spending £400,000 and £300,000, respectively. And
finally
Linking Words
, on cameras, the French spent the lowest amount, just £150,000,
whereas
Linking Words
UK
Use synonyms
 individuals spent significantly higher, since they spent more than double, £350,000.
Conversely
Linking Words
, French
people
Use synonyms
 purchased more than
UK
Use synonyms
 residents in computers and perfume. In the case of computers, the difference was relatively small between them since
UK
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 spent £350,000
while
Linking Words
 the French spent between £350,000 and £400,000. In perfumes, the French total spent was £200,000;
on the contrary
Linking Words
,
UK
Use synonyms
 citizens spent less than £150,000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • categories
  • compare
  • significant differences
  • trends
  • patterns
  • spending habits
  • similarities
  • findings
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