IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the modern world it is possible to communicate with people via the internet without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

In
this
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 developing world, it is common to talk to
people
Use synonyms
 online without actually meeting them physically. In my opinion,
this
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 new development has both positive and negative ramifications that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I will discuss
further
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 in
this
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 essay. First and foremost, the world is changing so extensively, with new technological discoveries happening
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 that intend to make our lives easier. With more and more advances happening, the trend of social media and websites has become popular among the new generation. It is a good thing because it gives
platform
Correct article usage
a platform
show examples
 to various
people
Use synonyms
 to come and showcase their talents and communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can help them to grow in their field of interest.
Also
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, meeting
people
Use synonyms
 online saves a lot of time
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
Linking Words
further can be
Correct word order
can be further
show examples
utilized
Use the right word
utilised
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 for other purposes.
Furthermore
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, it
also
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 helps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
introvert
Replace the word
introverted
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people
Use synonyms
 to make new friends and decrease their social anxiety.
On the other hand
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, meeting
people
Use synonyms
 online
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to decrease social skills among the youngsters who
then
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 face
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of ways of communication . It
also
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 leads to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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of
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
interpersonal bonds because you will never meet that person in reality
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 at the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 might
also
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 lead to misunderstandings on some occasions. Another risk factor of meeting
people
Use synonyms
 online is fraud
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 tend to be someone they are not,
therefore
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victimizing
Use the right word
victimising
show examples
 others in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal activities
such
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 as money laundering.
To conclude
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, I believe that there are more negative aspects of meeting anyone online than positive.

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strength
Your view is clear. You give some reasons. To raise score, add more strong ideas and facts to back your view.
improvement
Some ideas need more detail. For each point, give a specific example.
structure
Use a clear plan in the intro and a short summary at the end to show what you will talk about.
language
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, but, however, so to help flow.
grammar
Check grammar and word form. Small errors can slow the flow.
content
Clear view on the topic.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist.
content
Shows both sides and gives a view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Digital communication
  • Virtual meetings
  • Remote work
  • Real-time communication
  • International connectivity
  • Socio-economic divide
  • Miscommunication
  • Nonverbal cues
  • Emotional connection
  • Online presence
  • Global networking
  • Technological advancement
  • Virtual collaboration
  • Digital literacy
What to do next:
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