IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The given charts describe responses of undergraduate and postgraduate students to a questionnaire about a university library. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The given charts describe responses of undergraduate and postgraduate students to a questionnaire about a university library. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart gives data about
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
undergraduated
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
 and
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 about the university's library.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the charts is that
while
Linking Words
 the majority of
undergraduated
Correct your spelling
undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
non printed
Use the right word
non-printed
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
postgraduated
Correct your spelling
postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to use printed
materials
Use synonyms
. A closer look at the charts reveals that
while
Linking Words
 more than half of postgraduates(55%) said that printed
materials
Use synonyms
 are 'very good', nearly
halved
Use the right word
half
show examples
Use synonyms
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
 of undergraduates (28%) agreed with them. In both
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
groups
Punctuation problem
groups,
show examples
 the small percentages of people marked
range
Correct article usage
a range
show examples
 of books as 'very bad', which is between 12-22% . When it comes to
non printed
Use the right word
non-printed
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of undergraduates and postgraduates who
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 these
materials
Use synonyms
 are sufficient and very good is literally the same, around 75%.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
non printed
Use the right word
non-printed
show examples
materials
Use synonyms
 are very good, meanwhile nearly 50% of postgraduates think that these
materials
Use synonyms
belongs
Correct subject-verb agreement
belong
show examples
 to
satisfactory
Correct article usage
the satisfactory
show examples
 category.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, materials, proportion with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: