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Writing Samples
Band 8

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table presented illustrates the
population
Use synonyms
 changes in New York
City
Use synonyms
's districts from 1800 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the
population
Use synonyms
 in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
 has decreased over the years,
whereas
Linking Words
 other districts,
such
Linking Words
 as Brooklyn, the Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island, have experienced growth. In the 2000s, New York
City
Use synonyms
 reached its highest
population
Use synonyms
, with 8,009,185 residents. Of
this
Linking Words
 total, 81% were families living in various parts of the
city
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only 19% resided in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the comparison in 1800, the
city
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 was just 79,216. The majority of
this
Linking Words
population
Use synonyms
, at 60,515 individuals or 76%, lived in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining 24% were distributed across other districts. Looking ahead to the 1900s, the total
population
Use synonyms
 had increased to 3,437,202 people. More than half of
this
Linking Words
population
Use synonyms
 (54%) continued to reside in
Manhattan
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the remaining 46% were spread throughout the other areas of the
city
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, city, manhattan with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • people
  • city
  • five
  • district
  • grow
  • growth
  • rise
  • increase
  • increase
  • rise
  • fall
  • decline
  • high
  • low
  • big
  • large
  • small
  • more
  • less
  • over time
  • by year
  • in total
  • compare
  • compared with
  • whereas
  • trend
  • pattern
  • overall
  • feature
  • note
  • point
  • difference
  • lead
  • catch up
  • late
  • early
  • century
  • decade
  • period
  • 2000
  • 1800
  • 1900
  • continuous
  • steady
  • rapid
  • fast
  • slow
  • periods
  • numbers
  • data
  • report
  • describe
  • summarise
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