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Writing Samples
Band 6

The given graph illustrates the change in the prices of fresh fruits, vegetables, sugars, sweets, and carbonated drinks from 1978 to 2009. It is also representing consumer price index during this period.

The given graph illustrates the change in the prices of fresh fruits, vegetables, sugars, sweets, and carbonated drinks from 1978 to 2009. It is also representing consumer price index during this period.
The line graph shows the variation of three different categories
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as fresh fruits and vegetables, consumer and sweets,
carbonated
Correct word choice
and carbonated
show examples
 drinks over the time period of 1979 to 2009. It is
also
Linking Words
 highlighting the
Consumer-price index
Use the right word
Consumer Price Index
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that, from the beginning to till end
fresh
Punctuation problem
, fresh
show examples
 fruits and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 are the highest of all
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
three with little ups and
down
Replace the word
downs
show examples
through out
Use the right word
throughout
show examples
 the time.
Linking Words
SImilarly
Fix capitalization
Similarly
show examples
, the prices of consumer-index, beverages and sweetened goods gradually increased from start to end. In detail, the prices of agricultural products
enhances
Verb problem
increased by
show examples
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
 50 % in 1979, from
then
Linking Words
 on, it fluctuated and rapidly
growing
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 until it
reaches
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 up to 180 % in 1991 and approximately 350 % in
2009
Punctuation problem
2009,
show examples
 respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the other two products,
such
Linking Words
 as sugar and sweets and
Correct article usage
the consumer-price
show examples
consumer-price
Use the right word
consumer price
show examples
 index followed the same trend where starting from nearly 50 % in
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
 and with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 gradual increment
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 200 % and 210 % respectively. Among all,
bevarage
Correct your spelling
beverage
 products are the only
where
Correct pronoun usage
ones where
show examples
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
slightly rose
Correct word order
rose slightly
show examples
 50 % in 1979 to 100 % in 1984. From
then
Linking Words
 it was relatively stable before rising to approximately 150 % in 2009.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
 the prices of all goods were intersected at the same stage
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 100 % respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "similarly, such".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • price
  • prices
  • rise
  • rose
  • rising
  • increase
  • increased
  • grow
  • grew
  • growing
  • go up
  • fall
  • fell
  • falling
  • decrease
  • decreased
  • drop
  • dropped
  • steady
  • steady
  • gradual
  • rapid
  • sharp
  • significant
  • higher
  • lower
  • more
  • less
  • than
  • the
  • and
  • period
  • years
  • from
  • to
  • 1978
  • 2009
  • CPI
  • consumer price index
  • trend
  • pattern
  • compare
  • contrast
  • overall
  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • sugars
  • sweets
  • drinks
  • carbonated drinks
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