IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where did their training. Others believe they should be freen to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 are
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the most
respectable
Correct word choice
respected
show examples
 professions globally. Some individuals have a
view point
Use the right word
viewpoint
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 should start their professional journey in the
country
Use synonyms
, they get their training
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe in the freedom of relocation
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and working at a different place. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explicate both these points and give my views.
Doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 are highly in-demand professionals in every
country
Use synonyms
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 spend
extensive
Correct article usage
an extensive
show examples
 amount of finances to train them, for the sake of
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of their
country
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 that they can economically contribute towards their native land in the
long-run
Use the right word
long run
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of support system allows a person to get
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 education in the specific field, without worrying much about the tuition fees. If an individual decides to start a career
elsewhere
Linking Words
, it is
Correct article usage
a wastage
show examples
wastage
Check wording
waste
show examples
 of resources for a nation
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
hence
Linking Words
, it is expected
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of those people to serve their
country
Use synonyms
 after completing their professional education and training.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, every individual has a right to dream
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some are ambitious to study
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and start a career
elsewhere
Linking Words
 by immigrating to a new land. It opens the doors of various opportunities for them
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to learn more
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and expand their knowledge. People
also
Linking Words
 like to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
 their career in another
country
Use synonyms
 because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it will offer them a hefty yearly package,
along with
Linking Words
 a good lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, most
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 from various parts of
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 like to migrate to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 or Canada to work because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they earn better there, rather than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 home
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I would like to say that
doctors
Use synonyms
 and
engineers
Use synonyms
 should consider working
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own
country
Use synonyms
 and show their devotion
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, at the same time, they should not be compulsively or forcefully made to work there and should be allowed to
fulfill
Use the right word
fulfil
show examples
 their dreams.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

tip
Be clear on your view. State which side you choose and the reason for it. Use one strong idea for each view and explain.
tip
Give more clear examples to back up each idea. Facts or small facts work well.
tip
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a main idea and add why and how.
tip
Use simple link words to show order and contrast, like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however'.
strength
Your view is clear in the essay.
strength
You show both sides well.
strength
You give an example of USA or Canada.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: