IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think if students are afraid of teacher it is better. Others say that having a friendly relationship is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people believe that
,
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apply
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 it is better for the
students
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 to be scared of their teachers,
whereas
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 others believe in
development
Correct article usage
the development
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 of a friendly
relation
Replace the word
relationship
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 among them. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both these points and explain my views.
Firstly
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, a school is considered a place where a child's cognitive and intellectual development takes place.
Therefore
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, for
this
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purpose
Add a comma
purpose,
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 it is important for the teachers to be strict and make a child understand
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
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 of being disciplined. If a
teacher
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 is always lenient
,
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apply
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 and never
taking
Wrong verb form
takes
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 any strict actions,
children
Use synonyms
 become
more free
Correct word choice
freer
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, and do not take their lessons seriously.
Therefore
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, a
teacher
Use synonyms
 needs to exhibit stringent behaviour
,
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apply
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 in order to motivate their pupils to finish their lessons on time.
On the other hand
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, some educational institutions endorse a friendly behaviour among the teachers and the
students
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. If a
teacher
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 is emiable, they are more approachable for the
students
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, who will feel free to discuss various problems with their mentors, and try to figure out a solution.
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Also
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Also,
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children
Use synonyms
 feel more connected with a
teacher
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,
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apply
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 who is not always yelling at them or scolding them.
Children
Use synonyms
 will happily get educated
bysomeone
Correct your spelling
by someone
,
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apply
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who exhibits understanding and empathising behaviour towards them. I believe that
,
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apply
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 it is important for a
teacher
Use synonyms
 to be strict with the
students
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, in order to inculcate discipline in them, but not so much that
children
Use synonyms
 are frightened, and would not even try to experiment or discover their field of interest,
hence
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, killing their creative instincts and hindering their cognitive development. Conclusively, a
teacher
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 should know
,
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apply
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 how to balance their strict and friendly side. Both
the
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apply
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sides are imperative
,
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;
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however
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, a
teacher
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 should be aware of the extent of leniency and strictness that
,
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apply
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 they need to show at a certain point
of
Change preposition
in
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 time.

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grammar
Fix many small grammar errors and wrong word form to make sense.
structure
Plan the essay with a clear start, middle, and end before you write.
content
Give one or two clear reasons for your view and back them with a real example.
lexical resource
Use simple, common words. Avoid long, hard phrases.
task response
The text shows both sides of the issue and gives an opinion.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Links like First and On the other hand help flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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