IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweigh its disadvantages?

Some
people
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 believe
patriotism
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 is harmful because it causes problems,
while
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 others think it is good for society. In my opinion,
patriotism
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 has more benefits than drawbacks if it is moderate and respectful.
Patriotism
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 can help a
country
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 in many ways.
First,
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it creates unity among citizens. When
people
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 feel proud of their
country
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, they are more willing to help each other, especially in difficult times.
For example
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, during natural disasters, many citizens volunteer and donate because they care about their nation.
Second,
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patriotism
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 can make
people
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 more responsible. Citizens may vote, pay taxes, and follow laws because they want their
country
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 to improve.
Finally
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, it protects culture and traditions.
People
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 who value their history often teach it to younger generations so it will not disappear.
However
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,
patriotism
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 can
also
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 create problems. If it becomes too strong, it can turn into extreme nationalism.
This
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 may lead to discrimination against minorities or hostility towards other countries. In some cases,
such
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 as during the Second World War, extreme
patriotism
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 was used to justify violence and war.
Moreover
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, some political leaders use
patriotism
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 to distract
people
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 from real issues like corruption or unemployment, which can harm the
country
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 in the long term. In conclusion,
patriotism
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 has both positive and negative sides. I believe its advantages outweigh its disadvantages when it is
practiced
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practised
show examples
 with openness and fairness. A healthy form of
patriotism
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 can unite
people
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, strengthen society, and preserve culture,
while
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 avoiding the dangers of nationalism.

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strength
You give a clear view and you talk about both sides. This helps the task.
improvement
Add more detail in each point to show the full view. More real facts or examples would help.
improvement
Link ideas from one part to the next with clear signs so the turn from one idea to another is smooth.
improvement
Try shorter sentences so the idea are easy to follow.
structure
Clear stance and a good essay shape (intro, body, conclusion).
cohesion
Good use of words like However, First, Second, Finally to show order.
examples
Examples like natural disasters and World War II help explain points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • sense of belonging
  • strengthening societal bonds
  • instills
  • pride and loyalty
  • excessive
  • nationalism
  • intolerance
  • discrimination
  • conflict
  • blind allegiance
  • flawed policies
  • unifying force
  • crisis
  • manipulated
  • political leaders
  • division
  • advocating
  • responsibility
  • civic duty
  • engaged
  • informed citizenship
  • balanced and inclusive
  • cultural diversity
  • marginalize
  • minority groups
  • stifle dissent
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