IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The line graph demonstrates the details about per kilogram price of bananas in four disparate countries from 1994 to 2004.

The line graph demonstrates the details about per
Use synonyms
kilogram
Use the right word
per-kilogram
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 in four disparate countries from 1994 to 2004. Looking
Change preposition
at an
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 structure, it is readily apparent that the highest
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 was observed in Japan in the initial period.
Also
Linking Words
, the lowest
price
Use synonyms
 was in
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in the preliminary period.
While
Linking Words
 per
Use synonyms
kilogram
Use the right word
per-kilogram
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 increased in Japan and
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, the opposite was true for France and Germany during the whole time frame.
According to
Linking Words
 the details of 1994, the
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 in Japan accounted for 1.9$ in comparison with 1.65$ for France, 1.4$ for Germany, and 0.7$ for
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. In 1995,
Correct article usage
the per
show examples
per
Correct word order
price per kilogram
show examples
kilogram
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 rose significantly from 1.9$ to 2.9$
closely
Punctuation problem
, closely
show examples
 followed
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same growth
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 with 1.2$. Looking at the more information, the
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 in France amounted to 1.65$ until 1997, before dropping to 1.5$ in 1998. A similar tendency
also
Linking Words
 belonged to Germany and the per
kilogram
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 constituted 1.4$ in 1994, but decreased slightly and stood at 1.6$ in 2004.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Add a clear opening line that makes the main trend easy to see.
data
Be exact with data for each country over the years and keep numbers true.
coherence
Put ideas in order and link them with simple joining words.
language
Fix grammar and use short, clear sentences.
overview
The essay shows a note of the main trend across the four lands.
data
Some data values from 1994 and a few later years are used.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: