IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many individuals believe that taking regular health check-ups is unnecessary if they feel healthy. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint? Explain your answer.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that if
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
health
Use synonyms
good
Verb problem
is good
show examples
, the
Use synonyms
check
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
 up
unessential
Correct word choice
unnecessary
show examples
. I disagree because
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a check
show examples
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
 can help us to solve any
problem
Use synonyms
 we have in our
body
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, let us know
about
Change preposition
whether
show examples
 our
vitamins
Use synonyms
 as it's a good or not. In fact, the
Use synonyms
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
 can
also
Linking Words
 help our
doctor
Use synonyms
 to know about our
health
Use synonyms
. The
Use synonyms
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
 can help us to know about our
vitamins
Use synonyms
. Is it low or high
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 The
doctor
Use synonyms
 can help us when our
vitamins
Use synonyms
low
Correct word choice
are lower
show examples
 than average. There are some
people
Use synonyms
 who have abnormally high
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
red and white blood cells. The
doctor
Use synonyms
 can help if we do a regular
Use synonyms
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
. Regular
Use synonyms
check up
Use the right word
checkups
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 help us and our doctors to solve any
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 we have
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
vitamins
Use synonyms
 and red
cells
Check wording
blood cells
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
going
Verb problem
are going
show examples
 to do a
Use synonyms
check up
Correct your spelling
check-up, and
then
Linking Words
 they
know
Verb problem
will know
show examples
 they have cancer or they have
anemia
Use the right word
anaemia
show examples
. Our doctors can help them to solve
this
Linking Words
problem
Use synonyms
 if they have any
anemia
Use the right word
anaemia
show examples
, the
doctor
Use synonyms
 should give them
Aaron
Use the right word
iron
show examples
 or
vitamin
Correct article usage
a vitamin
show examples
 supplement, blood transfusion, art, treatment of bleeding or
pathoyens
Correct your spelling
pathogens
. Regular
Use synonyms
check up
Use the right word
checkups
show examples
 help us and let us stay in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I disagree with
people
Use synonyms
 who think
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Use synonyms
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
it's
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not necessary
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
body
Use synonyms
 if they are in good
health
Use synonyms
cause
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 I think all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should do
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a check
show examples
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
 every six months to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors help
Correct word order
help doctors
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
solve any
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
. When we help our
body
Use synonyms
. It
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
 us
in
Verb problem
stay in
show examples
 good
health
Use synonyms
 and
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 our
body
Use synonyms
 and brain
more
Verb problem
be more
show examples
 productive plus energetic for that. We should do
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a check
show examples
check up
Use the right word
check-up
show examples
 every time we feel tired
maybe
Punctuation problem
, maybe
show examples
 from our
vitamins
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
Make your main idea clear in the first sentence of the essay and keep it in every paragraph.
Coherence
Use more linking words (and, but, so, because, also) to join ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Task response
Give a clear, true example and explain how it shows your point.
Coherence
Keep one idea in each paragraph and end the paragraph with a short, clear summary sentence.
Language
Check spelling and use simple, plain words to avoid mistakes.
Content
You take a clear side against the idea that check-ups are useless.
Content
You mention real reasons why a health check can help.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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