IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic: The bar chart compares four different after-school sports activities that Australian boys and girls took part in 2010. .

Topic: The bar chart compares four different after-school sports activities that Australian boys and girls took part in 2010. .
This
Linking Words
 chart compares four random after-school sports activities that the
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 from Australia did in 2010.
Overall
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,
boys
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 are high in football, basketball, and the percentage for no
sport
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 is less than that for
girls
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. The
girls
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 are higher in swimming, netball, and the percentage for no
sport
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 is higher than that for
boys
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. The peak
sport
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 for
boys
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 is football; it was 20
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percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 of them,
whereas
Linking Words
 the highest
sport
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 for
girls
Use synonyms
 is netball; it is just above 15
Use synonyms
percent
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per cent
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 of them. In basketball, around 7
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 of
boys
Use synonyms
 participated in it after school, compared to
girls
Use synonyms
, who were significantly just above 5
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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, which means
boys
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 are slightly higher than
girls
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 by approximately 2
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
. In "no
sport
Use synonyms
," more
girls
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 did not participate in sports, with about 5
Use synonyms
percent
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per cent
show examples
 compared to
boys
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, who were just under 5
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, girls, sport, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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