IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

SGovernment investment in the art, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree

There is
a
Correct article usage
an
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 ongoing debate about
subsidizing
Use the right word
subsidising
show examples
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
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 industry. Some believe that funding
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
works of
art
Use synonyms
 is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of money,
while
Linking Words
 others claim it may enrich
people
Use synonyms
's perspective by creating
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
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 to understand nonverbal expression. I agree to the idea of
communitie's
Correct your spelling
community's
 fund allocation in
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 fields. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 isn't practical and relevant to
people
Use synonyms
's daily lives. It is worthless to put funds on industries which is not productive and minor.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may not be interested in visiting
art
Use synonyms
 facilities, even if tremendous public money is spent on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. In
such
Linking Words
case
Correct article usage
a case
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,
people
Use synonyms
's economic frustration will
boost
Verb problem
increase
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due to
Linking Words
inequal
Use the right word
unequal
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 and unfair funding. Public
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 should be used for general problems which are more urgent
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as agriculture, health maintenance, and infrastructure
field
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 can play a significant role in cross-cultural communication.
Although
Linking Words
 not all
people
Use synonyms
 appreciate
art
Use synonyms
 activities, some
people
Use synonyms
 will benefit from expressing their thoughts and interpreting
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 works,
such
Linking Words
 as individuals who
speaks
Correct subject-verb agreement
speak
show examples
 different native
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
, or
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 disability to speak. Because speaking isn't necessary in
art
Use synonyms
 activity, it will lessen the tension between
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not confident about verbal communication.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 frustrated by being misunderstood. If
people
Use synonyms
 have no means to express their
feelings
Punctuation problem
feelings,
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 it will affect their mental well-being.
Art
Use synonyms
 can play a positive role in maintaining healthy
phsychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. In my view,
art
Use synonyms
 is crucial for
people
Use synonyms
's daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
Although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 claim that they are not involved
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
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 in their everyday life,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
still I
Correct word order
I still
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 think most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
already
Verb problem
have already
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receives
Wrong verb form
received
show examples
 the merit of
art
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 unconsciously.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
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 use YouTube to listen to music in order to keep
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 in
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 mood. I believe
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
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 of online
art
Use synonyms
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 is one of the
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
people
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 positively
effected
Use the right word
affected
show examples
 by
art
Use synonyms
. As many
people
Use synonyms
 are involved in
art
Use synonyms
, even if they don't visit museums and
theaters
Use the right word
theatres
show examples
, I think investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 online
art
Use synonyms
 can bring meaningful
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 allocation of
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
 division can be
inequal
Use the right word
unequal
show examples
, most
people
Use synonyms
 can benefit from internet
art
Use synonyms
 resources. I agree to funding
art
Use synonyms
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 online for equal and fair support.

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task response
Be sure to show a clear view on the key question. The prompt asks if gov money on art is waste or not. State your answer early and stick to it.
structure
Make one idea in each para. Open with a small idea line. Then give one or two example and end with a tip that links back to your view.
grammar
Use simple and clean grammar. Check spelling. For example, art is important; not 'art division' or 'art fields'.
structure
The essay tries to discuss both sides and has a final view.
cohesion
There are link words like On the one hand and On the other hand.
What to do next:
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