IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of graduates with different qualifications working in one engineering company in 1980 and 2008.

The charts below show the proportion of graduates with different qualifications working in one engineering company in 1980 and 2008.
The given chart
compared
Wrong verb form
compares
show examples
 the ratio of graduates with various types of
diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
 working in one engineering
organization
Use the right word
organisation
show examples
 over the period of 28 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Master-
Science
Use synonyms
 was the highest
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
show examples
, whilst in the opposite was true for
Ph
Use synonyms
.d
-
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Art
Use synonyms
. In
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
,
according to
Linking Words
 the
first
Use synonyms
 pie chart, Master-
Science
Use synonyms
 was the highest
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
 for these 6 qualifications at 29%.
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
Science
Use synonyms
 and
first
Use synonyms
 degree-
Science
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
accounted for 25% and 20%, respectively.
Master
Check wording
Master's
show examples
-
Art
Use synonyms
 was 2% higher than
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
a first
show examples
 degree-
Art
Use synonyms
 at 13%.
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
Art
Use synonyms
 was the lowest
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
show examples
 at 2%. Moving to the next pie chart,
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
Science
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to the highest from 25% to 30%.
Master
Check wording
Master's
show examples
-
Science
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 1% lower than
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
Science
Use synonyms
. Noticeably,
first
Use synonyms
 degree-
Science
Use synonyms
, Master-
Art
Use synonyms
 and
first
Use synonyms
 degree-
Art
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fell slightly from 20%, 13% and 11% to 12%, 12% and 10%, respectively.
Ph
Use synonyms
.D-
Art
Use synonyms
 grew moderately to 7%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words master-, science, ph, d-, art, first, degree- with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: