IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that technology make life complicated, while others believed that it make life easier. Discuss both the views and give opinions

It is argued that the rapid advancement and widespread usage of
technology
Use synonyms
 have become
integral
Correct article usage
an integral
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 part of today’s modern era.
However
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,
while
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
this
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 advancement is creating complicated
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 for
people
Use synonyms
, others hold the opinion that with technological
support
Punctuation problem
support,
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 they can live better lives.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and provide a reasonable conclusion in
ensuing
Correct article usage
the ensuing
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 paragraphs. Not only do some argue that
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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technology
Use synonyms
 is harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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 them in a certain way,
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firstly
Rephrase
but also
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, these days
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 are heavily dependent on
technology
Use synonyms
, which is harmful
for
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apply
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not only
their
Change preposition
to their
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 physical but
also
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for
Change preposition
to
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mental
Correct pronoun usage
their mental
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 health.
In addition
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, they are losing physical connections with their friends and relatives.
For example
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,
people
Use synonyms
 use floor cleaner machines to clean their homes,
instead
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 of doing that on their own. Which reduces their physical movements. But what about those who disagree? Why do they think
this
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 change is beneficial for them?
Firstly
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,
technology
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 saves time, as it can finish our tasks in less time than human
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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.
Secondly
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, it is not only accurate but
also
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 easy to use.
Consequently
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,
people
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 can easily focus on their important tasks rather than work which has been done by machines.
For instance
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,
those
Correct word order
for those
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 women
,
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apply
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 who work
for
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apply
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full time
Use the right word
full-time
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,
technology
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 can be useful for them in many ways to finish their house chores without any human needs. In my opinion,
although
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 it is true that technological advancements come with some negatives, in my
view
Punctuation problem
view,
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this
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 change is necessary to make
people
Use synonyms
’s lives easier. As it helps them to live comfortably. In conclusion, both views have their merits
,
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;
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 it appears that technological advancements are necessary to live a better life. Despite
this
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, it decreases the value of physical activities and social attachments, but it will help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to live a better life.
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this
Fix capitalization
This
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 is my for
gt
Use the right word
GT
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 task
can
Punctuation problem
. Can
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 you check
according to
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 band
descrptors
Correct your spelling
descriptors
 and give me bands

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coherence
Improve how ideas are joined. Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect and to move from one idea to the next.
task response
Choose one clear opinion and keep it in the end that fits the task.
grammar
Fix grammar and sentence form so the text reads smoother.
task response
The essay covers both views and gives an opinion.
coherence
The language is simple and ideas are easy to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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