IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, bcause university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
students
Use synonyms
 should pay the full tuition for their
university
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 studies.
This
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 essay disagrees with
this
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 statement because some
families
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 cannot
support
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 their children financially, and a
university
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education
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 can assist the country's growth in several sectors. One reason why governments should not allow
students
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 to pay for their studies is the lack of financial
support
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 from their
families
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. Many
students
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 rely on themselves to survive in
college
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, especially if they live on the
university
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 campus. It is their responsibility to clean their rooms, eat regular meals, and dress appropriately for class;
therefore
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, it is difficult for them to afford their
college
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 tuition. To illustrate, a survey conducted by a group of
students
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 at UCLA revealed that approximately $250 is spent each month by each student on their lifestyle during
college
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, and that amount of money is not from their own
families
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. Another reason is that free
university
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education
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 can
support
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 a country’s development. Modern nations compete in many important fields
such
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 as artificial intelligence and data analysis, which require more graduates. If
education
Use synonyms
 is free, more people can study and contribute to these fields.
This
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 can
also
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 help in other sectors like tourism.
For instance
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia has seen a big rise in tourism in the past three years by
organizing
Use the right word
organising
show examples
 large events and building major projects. Many of the people involved are
university
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 graduates, made possible because
education
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 is free for citizens. In conclusion,
families
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 cannot
support
Use synonyms
 their
college
Use synonyms
students
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 financially, and assisting the country's growth in several sectors
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the two main factors for not making
students
Use synonyms
 pay for their own studies.

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task response
Your view is clear, but the answer is not fully done. Add more talk on why paying full money is not good for society and for the student. Include a small counter idea and then say why your view stays.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro states your view, two body para with reasons, a short counter claim, and a final line restating your view.
coherence
Make topic sentences for each paragraph. Start with a clear line like 'First, ...' and 'Second, ...'.
coherence
Link ideas with joining words, e.g., 'also', 'but', 'however', 'therefore'.
evidence
Improve the evidence: use real data or explain the idea in more plain terms. The UCLA number and Saudi tourism example look weak; either drop or explain more.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar: 'bcause' should be 'because'.
lexical
Word choice: stick to common words (top 100 words) when you can.
task response
Clear position and simple plan
coherence
Two clear reasons
structure
Intro and conclusion present

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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