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Band 7

The graph below shows the number of overseas who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.

The graph below shows the number of overseas who came to the UK for different purposes between 1989 and 2009.
The graph below gives information about the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 who came to the UK, in terms of different purposes , namely Holiday,
Business
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, and friends or relatives , in the years 1989 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, all categories experienced different trends during these years. The figures for holiday and
business
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 increased with some variations, and the proportion of
visitors
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 increased progressively. As the line graph shows the holiday’s figure increased steeply to 6
million
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 in 1989, and coming to 1994 it gradually raised to the highest stage between 8 and 10
million
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visitors
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1999,
at the end
Linking Words
 it
initially
Linking Words
 declined to the step of 6
million
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2004, by coming up in short period it progressively increased until 8
million
Use synonyms
visitors
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 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2009.
Business
Use synonyms
 travel increased to 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 1999, but the figure of
business
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 suddenly dropped to 4
million
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visitors
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 in 1993. There was gradual growth until 6
million
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1999, and there was a small decline in 2004,
year
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, after that it rose to 8
million
Use synonyms
visitors
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 .
At the end
Linking Words
, there was a decline to 6
million
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2004. Beginning from the visit to friends or relatives stage in
this
Linking Words
 stage had only an increased level until 6
million
Use synonyms
visitors
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 in 2004,
as a result
Linking Words
, it slightly dropped to 6
million
Use synonyms
 in 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, business, million, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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