IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory of job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The issue of different attitudes towards undesirable situations has garnered considerable attention in recent years.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals assert that it is better to ignore them, others consider that the best option is to try to deal with obstacles in order to enhance
current
Correct pronoun usage
their current
show examples
 position. From my point of view, there is no solely right approach, and only
combination
Correct article usage
a combination
show examples
 of them may help
people
Use synonyms
 to cope with various problems. The proponents of the “accept” strategy claim that over-obsession with bad situations only mentally overloads individuals and leads to problems with mental health.
In addition
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, in many cases,
people
Use synonyms
’s actions have no or little impact on resolving particular issues, and,
as a result
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, psychological worries contribute nothing to improving the situation. One vivid example of
this
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 can be seen in the 2008 global
finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
 crisis, when
people
Use synonyms
 lost enormous amounts of money, and could do nothing against it.
This
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 resulted in numerous
people
Use synonyms
’s deaths
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 were caused by the stress.
Consequntly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, the only way to cope with the recession was to accept it.
Nevertheless
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, the argument of the group with
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 view is that ignoring a problem only leads to its expansion and worsening.
In other words
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, to mitigate
unfavorable
Use the right word
unfavourable
show examples
 consequences, the best option is
eliminating
Verb problem
to eliminate
show examples
 its reason.
For instance
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, in medical practice, doctors always try to find the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 an illness rather
reducing
Change preposition
than reducing
show examples
 its implications by simply giving painkillers.
Moreover
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, if a patient
suppreses
Correct your spelling
suppresses
implications
Correct article usage
the implications
show examples
 of the illness for a long time, the disease will grow and come to the point when any medication will not help.
This
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 simple illustration shows how accepting a bad situation only leads to bigger issues. In conclusion, from my point of view,
people
Use synonyms
 should choose different approaches regarding
exact
Correct word choice
specific
show examples
 obstacles. If any action has no impact on the problem, accepting it will save individuals’ time and health
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, if a little chance of resolving the issue exists,
people
Use synonyms
 should try to improve it.

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task
Make your view clear at the end. Add more details for each idea and link them to your view.
coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas go together and to move from one part to the next.
coherence
Split long ideas into shorter lines. Use one idea per paragraph.
content
Choose a strong example and explain it. Check facts and stay on topic.
language
Check spelling and use common words. Use plain language.
content
You state a clear view and give both sides.
structure
There is a good attempt to use example to back points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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