IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007.

The graph below shows the unemployment rates in the UK, the rest of Europe and Japan from 1993 to 2007.
The graph shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who did not have work in three countries, namely the uk the eu and japan between 1993 and 2007.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 the unemployment rates of
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 countries experienced different trends over the period.
While
Linking Words
 the rates of the
uk
Fix capitalization
UK
show examples
 and the
eu
Fix capitalization
EU
show examples
 showed downward trends , the number of unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 increased gradually in Japan . As
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 shows, about 11
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
 of British
people
Use synonyms
 were
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
 in 1993 , and it
followed
Verb problem
was followed
show examples
 by a sharp decrease to 5
Use synonyms
percentage
Check wording
per cent
show examples
 in 2001 .
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 rose slightly to 6% in 2007 . Regarding the percentages of the
eu
Fix capitalization
EU
show examples
, it started with 9 %
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the number of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
people
Use synonyms
 experienced a small growth
11
Change preposition
of 11
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1997
afterwords
Punctuation problem
. Afterwards,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 figure fell gradually to 7
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2007 .
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 only 2
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
 of
people
Use synonyms
 did not work in Japan in 1993 .
This
Linking Words
 figure went up gradually to 6% in 2003 ,
whereas
Linking Words
 it saw a plunge to 5
percentage
Use synonyms
 in 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Fluctuation
  • Economic growth
  • Economic recovery
  • Comparative analysis
  • Steady decline
  • Modest stability
  • Broader economic challenges
  • Economic reform
  • Structural issues
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